I WAS driving along in a dreary, ugly and unnecessary Mini Countryman the other day when an important message flashed up on the dashboard. And, after I’d ferreted about in my pockets to find my spectacles so I could read what it said, I was a bit alarmed.
某日，我开着一台无聊、难看而且多余的Mini Countryman行驶在路上，一条重要的提示信息突然出现在仪表台上。当我从口袋里摸出我的眼镜仔细一看，我发现我读到是一条警告信息。
I don’t recall the exact wording but, in essence, it said there was a fault with the steering system and that as a result, I should drive “moderately”.
我实在难以记得当时具体的字眼，基本上，它是在告诉我车子的转向系统发生了故障，并提醒我要“温和驾驶”。
I wonder what that means. Because Lewis Hamilton’s idea of “moderately” is rather different from James May’s. And anyway, if there’s a fault with the steering, surely it’d be better to say: “Stop immediately and flee.”
这个表达让我相当疑惑。因为F1世界冠军汉密尔顿的“温和驾驶”和龟速船长詹姆斯.梅的“温和驾驶”是完全截然差异情况。不管怎么说，如果转向系统真的发生了故障，此时最恰当的提示毫无疑问应该是“立即停车，放弃驾驶”。
Losing your ability to steer is worse than losing your ability to stop. I know this because I once drove a brake-free lorry across Burma and I just about managed. But when the steering locked while I was in a Renault A610, I crashed almost immediately.
失去转向绝对比失去刹车更具有灾难性，我对此深有体会：我曾经在缅甸开一台卡车的时候失去了刹车，我还能勉强应付当时的情况；但是当我驾驶的雷诺A610转向锁死的时候，我当时就遭遇了车祸。
The problem is, of course, that to save the polar bear, the Mini Countryman has electric power steering. And when something is electrical, you can be certain that one day it will break and you’ll have to turn it off then on again to mend it. That’s not so bad when it’s a wi-fi router but the steering on a car? When you’re driving? Hmmm.
最大的问题，当然，出于某些环保理由（比如挽救哪些受到全球变暖威胁的北极熊），Mini Countryman的转向是电子的。也许对于大多数电子设备来说（比如你家的WiFi路由器），出现故障并不可怕，你只需要把它关了重启一下，故障多数会消失。但是对于一辆正在行驶中的汽车的转向系统，呵呵。
Charles Babbage, the father of the computer, talked once about the unerring certainty of machinery. But we don’t use machinery any more because we’ve got it into our heads that circuit boards and ones and noughts can do the job better.
Charles Babbage，现代电脑之父，曾经提醒过我们机械装置具有很好的确定性和可靠性。但是我们不再使用机械装置，因为我们深信哪些电路板和0和1组成的二进制编码可以做的更好。
They can’t. A point proved by the Countryman, and by a feature you’ll see in the current series of The Grand Tour. We took some fun-sized SUVs to Canada, where they failed to do anything very well. And when we asked them to do some actual four-wheel-drive work, they responded by not working at all. The electronics simply couldn’t cope.
事实上他们不能。这台Countryman身上发生的情况就是最好的证明。还有我们最新的一期《The Grand Tour》，我们开着一些全尺寸SUV去了加拿大，想去做一些真正的越野的时候，他们直接罢工了。电子设备就是这么不靠谱。
And that brings me on to the subject of this morning’s missive, the Hyundai i30 N, which has two speedometers. I don’t know why. One is analogue and one is digital. And at no time could they agree on how fast I was going. There was always a 3mph difference. And if they’d both been connected to the wheels with an actual cable, rather than some nerd’s wet dream, this wouldn’t have happened.
说这些，是因为今天的主角，现代i30 N，它有两个车速表。我不知道这样的设计有何意义。一个仪表是传统指针，另一个仪表是数字的。它们永远都无法在车速上达成一致：彼此之间有着3英里的误差。如果它们都是用一根实际的导线连接着车轮，而不是某个呆子的春梦意淫，很显然这样的事情不会发生。
There was another issue I had with this new hot hatch. Its name: i30 N. There are certain letters that work well on the boot lid of a car. G, T, V, R, I and S are fine; B, D, U, J and L are not. But the worst letter of them all is N. I know Hyundai will say it used an N because the car was developed at the Nürburgring but we don’t need reminding. We can tell.
对于这台全新的小钢炮来说，还有另一个问题，就是它的名字：i30 N。对于一台车来说，某些字母贴在它的尾箱盖上是非常顺眼的，比如G、T、V、R、I或者S；而某些字母比如B、D、U、J、L就很奇怪（译者注：很显然大猩猩忘记了中国的“L”加长文化）。不过最让人受不了的就是这个字母N。我知道，现代之所以使用这个字母是在暗示我们这是一台纽伯格林调节出的产品。但是真的需要这样的刻意提醒吗？闭着眼睛都知道。
Hyundai — which has never made a hot hatchback before — has bought a book called How to Copy a Golf GTI and stuck rigidly to the recipe. It’s taken its ordinary five-door hatchback — the sort of car that’s bought by people who wear hats — lowered it, given it a 2-litre turbocharged engine and added some red styling details and hey presto. One hot hatch . . . that no one wants because they’d rather have a VW Golf, thanks very much, or a Renault, or a Ford.
现代——一个从来没有做过小钢炮的车企——买了一本叫做《如何复制一台高尔夫GTI》的秘籍，一字一句的研究透了。然后它找了一台自己的五门掀背车——就是平常人们用来买菜的哪种——降低了底盘，换上了2.0排量的涡轮引擎，再加上一些红色的细节点缀，一台小钢炮就这样像变戏法一样的出现了。然而，谁会想要这样一台小钢炮？提起小钢炮，人们不是更希望拥有一台大众高尔夫，谢谢大家（译者注：英式幽默，表达很多人都在附和），或者一台雷诺，再或者一台福特。
There’s more, I’m afraid, because instead of going to suppliers that know what they’re doing, Hyundai has got everything it needs to make this car — brakes, suspension and so on — from Korean firms no one has heard of. And that’s like having a Korean shotgun or a Korean watch.
还有，没有哪些知名的、擅长做性能产品的牌子（比如KW、Brembo等）作为供应商，现代依旧搞定了这台车所需要的一切部件：实际上它的悬挂、刹车等等，都是不知名的韩国企业代工的。这种感觉，就像你能相信韩国生产出的猎枪，名表么？
The only way you’d be tempted is by a very low price. And on the face of it, you don’t even get that. However, if you look carefully, you will notice it includes all sorts of things that are options with a Golf GTI. Furthermore, this car was developed, in 15 months incidentally, by one of the men responsible for all BMW’s M models in recent years. He’s a man who knows what he’s doing and that shows because this car, despite its on-paper problems and an inability to work out how fast it’s going, is utterly delightful.
这样一来，唯一能吸引人的可能就是一个很低的价格了。然而咋看起来，你甚至都很难注意到它性价比的优势。只有你仔细研究时，才会发现很多在GTI上的选装对于它来说都是标配。更进一步，这部车是由一个曾经担任宝马M部门负责人的家伙花了15个月开发出来的。很显然他很清楚他在做什么，因为如果我们忽略一些纸面上的问题和一对儿不能告诉你车速多快的仪表，这个车开起来真的真的是很有乐趣。
On an ordinary day, on an ordinary road, it’s beautifully understated. It’s quiet and comfortable and there are many toys to keep you amused. My favourite was the button that makes the exhaust go all noisy. Because then you do get people looking. And what they’re thinking is: “Why is that hat transportation device making such a rumbly sound? And why is it barking every time it’s asked to change gear?”
找一个再普通不过的一天，找一条日常驾驶的道路，它是如此地低调。安静，舒适，车上很多可以把玩的东西会让你乐此不疲。我的最爱是排气声浪全开按钮，按下之后你将获得周围人的注视：“为毛这买菜车的声浪这么响？为毛每次换挡它都要放炮？”
It’s like looking at a Secret Service agent. He’s wearing a nice suit and has a neat haircut and he could be a Wall Street functionary. Except, if you look, you can see the earpiece and if you listen hard, you can hear his controller talking about shooty stuff.
这就像一个特勤局特工，一身西装革履配上精致的发型，咋看就像一个华尔街职员，但是你仔细一看就会发现他耳朵上挂着的耳机，耳麦里还不时传来关于一些关于枪林弹雨的话题。
The Hyundai is very good at shooty stuff. It’s provided with an electronic system — which will break, obviously — that allows you to choose from a whopping 1,944 setups. There’s Sport and Sport and all sorts of individual custom programs that allow the driver to tailor each aspect to his or her personal preference, and it doesn’t matter what you do, this is a car that just works.
现代显然很擅长营造枪林弹雨的氛围。它的电子系统（很可能会坏掉，显然的），可以给你提供一个回到1944年战场的设定。“运动”和“运动 ”还有其他一些个人自定义程序，允许驾驶员根据自己的习惯量身定做车辆的驾驶模式。不管你怎么设定，它都能完美应付。
Maybe, if I were to pick nits, I’d argue that a hot Renault is a bit more feelsome and that a Golf GTI with a front diff is a bit more sticky in an uphill, tight, first-gear bend but as an overall package, the i30 N is a sweetheart. Even in Nutter Bastard mode, it’s not even remotely bumpy or unpleasant.
也许，吹毛求疵的话，我会说雷诺的小钢炮开起来更带感那么一点点，或者选了前轮限滑差速器的GTI在上坡的时候抓地也更好那么一点点。但是综合来说I30 N真的很棒。就算用最疯狂的模式，它都不会让你觉得太颠或者不舒服。
I especially like the rev match function. It was first seen on the Nissan 370Z and I’ve always wondered why more car makers haven’t copied the idea because what it does, as you change down, is rev the engine so the gearchange is smooth. It’s double declutching for you. And it’s doing this mechanically, so it’ll still be working long after the Apple CarPlay and sat nav system have gone haywire.
我特别喜欢它的降档自动补油的功能。之前日产的370Z上就有这个功能。我一直都希望其他车厂也能这么设计，它会让你的降档变得无比平顺。并且，这个功能完全是由机械来实现的，所以当苹果的CarPlay和卫星导航这些电子东西全都发生故障报销了，它还能继续使用。
Some say the bite on the clutch pedal is too high and that they wouldn’t buy this car because they kept stalling it. But that can be adjusted in about five seconds. Because it too is mechanical. And then it would be fine.
有人抱怨这车的离合器踏板太高了，经常导致熄火。不过你只要花5秒钟就能把踏板调一下，而且因为这也是纯机械的，所以，没关系尽管调（不用担心坏掉）。
As I see it, there are only a couple of reasons why you would not consider the N if you wanted a five-door, family hatchback with a folding rear seat at the back and plenty of ponies at the front. First, you’d have to tell people that you’d bought a Hyundai, which, despite its successes in rallying, is a bit like saying your bladder has broken.
所以在我看来，如果你真的需要一台马力足够，而且能放倒后座的五座掀背车，你拒绝这辆车的理由其实并不多。其中之一，就是你不得不向人们解释为啥你要买台现代（尽管在拉力赛场他们所向披靡)，这就像你要告诉人们你的膀胱出了问题（一样难堪）。
And then there’s the problem of Kim Jong-un, whose wobbly rockets may well affect your warranty one day. If you think all is well on that front, because Donald Trump would be on hand with a calm, measured response, then the i30 N makes a deal of sense. It’s come out of nowhere, this car, and is immediately a force to be reckoned with.
另一个问题，就是一个姓金的胖子的火箭，很可能在某一天会终结掉给你做质保的车厂。不过，如果他真的那么做了，川普也会给他一个冷静而有礼貌的回应。所以，不用太担心吧。这台车就这样很突然地诞生了，而且，它立刻就成为了一个有力的竞争者。
总评：★★★★
Hyundai
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